Snark not Snarf
QUIT TRYING TO MAKE ABSOLUTELY HAPPEN

Bitches it’s drag race season….and im a big bitch so beneath me there is tons of shade..lets go

Kelly Mantle: I am bummed as fuck..pre show i was stoked as hell and you’re a funny bitch but on the show (possibly due to the edit) ya were just boring and the outfit was just not awwright,alright ..This is why i hate sewing challenges though…good funny talented bitches go home for bacon outfits…Still a fantle though..loved eliminated..love ya, pop outta a box sometime.

Magnolia : ya hot as a dude, but yous a snooze as a lady ,okay? k, good.

Bianca Del rio : love ya, ya clowny cunt.. My mother says she hates your makeup and i said you’d hate hers too.(#soontobehomeless)

Courtney Act: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhh lawwdd..Sorry Jade, sorry vivienne, sorry urrybuddy, the queen of fish has arrived..and she’s talented (yall know i’ll be linking to russia with love soon, kay?) shes funny and just a tad hot as a man.

Milk: lordd idk..Obviously like the rest of the internet i would mind some of man milk’s man milk but the drag is so back and forth for me..Some of the audition looks are soo artistic and awesome and some are just a lil too halloween..idk i’m loving her personality though even if i’m not entirely on board her looks.

Adore Delano: first episode surprise…i hated dis bitch preseason but her in ep 1 ,kinda charming…right out of the gate with IM A FUCKING LIBRA ..i chuckled…i feel she got off easy just cause she’s new cause that gown was nott cute..but she’s growin on e.

Laganja estranja : …yupp…alyssa’s drag daughter…dancing skills for days, and a tad obnoxiously over the top..hopefully, like alyssa, she’ll tone a bit and it’ll just be charming.

Vivacious : ohh honey, i love your voice and your personality is rather nice so far, but i just am not feeling it..

STEVE smi„ i mean joslyn fox…awkard adorable congeniality fish. yaaas.

Gia Gunn: Absolutelyyyyyy…………a cunt.

Darrienne lake : with the sewing challenge out of the way,i can see her being a contender, at least till the next fucking useless sewing challenge.

Trinity K bonet: like an even less interesting tyra sanchez…outfits fine, nothing special..and how the fuck did her picture beat courtney act?? i mean she was clombin about like god damnned seabiscuit (was she the black horse joslyn was talking about??)

April Carrion: The PR queen of the season and i think finally we get away without the language barrier edit..bitch is fierce as f and almost took home that win first week..

and lastly ,BEN delacreme…ooh gurl…if they give you the “IM just friends of jinkx” edit..i’ll be pissed as f.. she is fierce…a character ,yes..and they’ll read her for that..but that character is polished, and charming…both super funny and super fierce , she’s got the full package of camp and glamour going on so far…

Who I think should get top 3 : Ben, Bianca, Courtney…will that happen??? prolly the fuck not..I swear though…gia best not be in dat lineup…mmmkayy..

This bitch

Well fuck, i’m back…and i think i kille cory monteith….i wish for more shirtless scenes and he kills himself ,rude as fuck… Anyway , this bitch is here and here’s a quick oscar coverage..

Ellen was tame but good, needs more tina fey and amy poehler raunch though.. 

Zac Efron, still alive, still fuckable

a thousand amateur drag queens are now going as adele dazeem

the selfie of stars happened and all i saw was kevin spacey because francis underwood terrifies the fuck outta me.

Jennifer lawerence cant pull dat short hair gurllll.

though she does have the extremely fuckable nicholas hoult as a boyfriend so whatev guess its working.

And 12 years a slave wins and the south declares that we are in fact, even…

GLEEDING (because every word can be fused with glee) ((a glee review))

Hey kids…It’s me…with another glee review…yep, for your enjoyment i sat through another hour of glee…and it was….not terrible actually….these are my live comments taken during the show and i’ll follow it up at the end with a general feeling summary so here we go

Rachel and finn..rachel actually giving moderately good advice..

"not everything has to do wit you"..finn, have ya seen glee?

Okay jayma mays is pretty dang good…i think one of the very few folk who would actually maybe deserve an award from this show

…God finn..mmmmmm..yum…

"asian bird flew" everyone looks at tina…glee awkward racist jokes..not bad lol

….and new bitches…WHO DA FUCK CARES..

as much as I hate rachel…i way prefer her and finn then new bitches….

new people sing da first song…whats this shit?!

Why does this classroom have a full theater lighting situation goin on?

Santana and quinn..now this shit is gettin good…sassy cunt power hour…

Really…of course artie has to be with another cripple??? Bleghhh

…glad shes a cunt at least…

new people….ughhh yall the worst…

wtf kurt and blaine car fking gross..

and mercedes…so she hadnt gotten shanked?

Okay I guess??

Sue…jane lynch youre better than this..

also surprisingly accurate

lol…shue..youre wedding is 90% children..thats real weird…

holy shit jayma mays…okay this made it worth watching glee….

and why is becky or whatever the flower girl??

And sue…that genius villainess character..but still likable…

Ohh naya…naya,jayma and jane need to hightail it off this show now..

quinn and santana spinoff show,NOW…

dude just wants pussy trope…

ugh cant a guy ever just be romantic and not be the one who upstages a douche?

Ugh kurt blaine number gross…

rachels pretty tolerable this ep…bravo glee..

ugh kurts face..

cripples can only be with cripples..its a rule apparently….

tina…just stopppp..STAHHHHPP…..

kurt..i had amoment of liking kurt…this ep is a miracle…

sue..dat speech..so beautifully dickish….

of course rachel does..OF COURSE….

RACHEL SHOW MUST FORCE ITS WAY IN….

the writers just blair & chucked it! Straight up saying finchel is endgame….

why is noone reacting to this shit tho?? THE WIFE LEFT, and only quinn ,santana and sue even seem to have brought it up..everyone else is like “FUCK IT, FREE PARTY!”

…Glees morality is messed.

rachel and finn number..pretty good…

quintana…yess..SPIN OFF…

quintana would make up to me them not killing her in s3..

so the 2 breakup ep couples hook up…bravo glee for never keeping shit broken up..

and quintana bangin?

And really??? No finn shirtless?!! ugh

Blehh klaine ..just both of you die…please…

quintana..

gurrll best glee coupling evahh..

UHAULING JOKE, YES!

..Really..jokin about them not feeling anything down there??? Wth.?.

so all I get is finn shirtless sleeping and only shoulder???

THIS ISNT THE 50S GLEE, GOD DAMNIT!

..So she fks finn and hops back to new guy…whos a hooker???

Amazing loll..

knowing this show he’ll be gay for pay lol…

finally tinas off the hag train..

and why do they let not current students just walk the halls??

And hagatha christie…not bad…

when did finn become more mature than schue??

Last #…i dont care about the new chick but shes not bad singin wise at least….

how do they always have matching color outfits for every colorscheme…how big are their closets??? Is lima apparently some rich ass area??

And of course shes preggers..

cause rachel show has to take over with a whos the daddy plotline..

Ugh..

terrible ending to an actually kinda good episode..

~~~end o live comment~~

This episode….was actually pretty dang good…i could’ve really gone without the new people valentines day subplot…and the so stupid artie has to get with a cripple thing (like remember how mercedes had to be with a fat black guy for a while??) … But overall..was pretty good..humor was a little dark first seasonish glee..jayma mays rocked it…Quinntana is endgame…Pretty damn good episode i’d even consider rewatching…but they fucked one huge thing up…..

THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO SEE GLEE…Cory Monteith shirtless…you’ve had everyone else shirtless in that travesty naked ep…just throw me a bone please, glee…make yourself a little more watchable …but, eye candy aside, it was still a pretty good ep…i say it’d actually be worth watching if ya liked s1 glee..

Up this week on snark not snarf

Since i’d been writing when i wasn’t posting..i’ve got some content ready to post throughout the week….my dynasty warriors/samurai warriors best of list (basically which characters i use the most..so expect pretty outfits essentially…damn inner gayness!) , who i’d want to play the role of harley quinn if she jumps into the live action movie scene…my gleecap of the most recent episode (Valentines episode) and also probably some shameless admiring of the house of hunkness the CW built…ALSO, the return of community: my thoughts…with a possible dash of : my memorials for shows who’ve taken the axe, and my thoughts on the current slate of pilot plots and castings…so stay tuned maybe?

IWISYDHT LOLA LOLA LOLA LOLA

I watched it so you don’t have to returns!!! I watched this A LONG TIME AGO….like the day it came out on dvd, so look that up to find out how long ago…but i held onto it and it never got posted so better late than never! The movie is Lola Versus (fun fact: it’s not the sequel to scott pilgrim versus the world)

 

Lola versus stars indie queen greta gertwig…she came off as a less energetic alyson hannigan…not quite as cookie cutter indie as damsels in distress..but still not quite your average rom com..its no CAJF but its no heigl movie..less than 90 minutes is kinda disappointing but I didnt mind that overall…joel kinnaman rather average but believable as a sort of cowardace male which in itself is unusual to see the attractive male lead not be the usual cocky male counterpart..greta fantastic as usual, slightly subdued quirkyness but not damsels level of straight up disability..supporting cast solid if a little trying too hard ..i figured out greta is sort of zooey deschanels and alyson hannigans lovechild suffering from depression…final sum up..its enjoyable, quirky enough without being elitist, but not cheesy enough to be a poorly done predictable romcom romp…watch it, definitely but not necessarily buy…go rent it now..breakdown drunk lola is worth the rental alone.

3 blenders (or how many margarita’s i’d need to watch this sober) ((a glee recap))

GLEE:

i havent watched since mid way last season other than the finale and then the thanksgiving one this year ..well..the lets have a kiki performance from this years thanksgiving one (btw omg is that shangela??)..So as you’ll see i’m a little perplexed….because i have no idea what’s happening and who these people are and etc….but here we go..my live comments from the naked episode of glee.

 

This calendar….ughhh..THIS ISNT LEGAL!

..AND HOW DOES SUE JUST ACCEPT DEFEAT….FROM FUCKING FINN!

opening was pretty funny actually with the news folk

..fondue for 2 was a weird unnecessary callback..

really..teens do a half naked objectifying calendar…cause thatd totally ever happen..

also..winners were disqualified but so were glee club..shouldnt 3rd place get it not the second place disqualified people??

Of course first musical is rachel…singing with rachel!! Fuck shit hasnt changed at all this season lol…just show an hour of lea michele masturbating to a mirror….

And sams almost naked….yup stuff hasnt changed….do appreciate it tho but mehh, token ratings grab for gay teens too chicken to look up porn basically…

who da fuck are the new people??? Did they hire a few ambercrombie models that needed work or something?

All men shirtless scene..with awful music choice..glee …you truly havent changed from the failed abortion you became…after all that promise ya first season showed…

Also love the 2 original guys here are the ones they dont care about..artie or finn lol..

Whos this dude and whys he naked? Not bad looking but hes also awful…also…

"shes a serious performer..she doesnt do nudity.." ..want to talk to anne hathaway or michelle williams about that kurt?? Youre still the worst character in america…

Whos this new chick?!!

Fucking new people!

..tho shes not awful singing…sounds more natural than rachel’s ass…

hes awful tho..sounds clearly edited….

Finn is telling a kid to look through porn..i know its a show but what the fuck!..

Heart to heart shallow guys…this is da worst…

"girls really want guys wholl get naked emotionally"…that was an actual line!..FUCKING CHRIST…

look at me sing one emotional ballad…im so deep!..

Thank god quinn and santana…2 moderately interesting characters and the best actresses on this show..y is kurt or finn or tina regulars and santana and quinn are guest stars??? Cause that makes sense

..and the shirtlessness calender…this is near pedophelia right? Wtf

..and sam..really..you know your place…

and wth when did finn suddenly become intelligent???

Oh jayma mays is still there???

Also wheres schue??not that I miss him but wth

…And wheres sugar?? She was the only good new thing last year

..ohh haha its funny cause its not muscular guys shirtless…way to be shallow as all fuck glee. Cause god forbid that people not have 6 pack abs and not want to be covered up like a muslim bride…

and ughh…really rachel..you are no sara barreilles..

not even close..

and of course rachel gets 2 musical numbers…

ohh thank god better singers join in…

rachel , let santanna and quinn take it…

also, really..the strongest female characters on this show are now just rachels backups and only here to be at rachels beckon call???

This is so ..ugh…if it was just naya this coulda been a great performance..UGHHHHHH…

santana please go ny..if it gets ya more screen time I might tune in to fast forward to her scenes…

Okay trouty mouth song return is worth it..

and glee..quit trying to make sam as acharacter happen, its never going to happen..

Of course it starts with blaine (group number)….

glee you are ugh..

and the forcing of the transgendered character that was awful last season…

sigh..thank god this is over..

if this didnt have commercials id kill myself..

at least it had minimum kurt…fuck I need a drink..SNS out

 

 

I’m back? ish…snark lives on

So i took a break from this….it wasn’t grasping me, lost my job…people were bugging me…so i stopped….then recently i thought fuck it…gonna kick this up …so i’m starting up with a few things i had saved ready to post before i quit..and some newer content..i’m starting off with one of two gleecaps i’ve done that’ll be in the next post…as long as i get that feeling of wanting to write for this..i’ll continue…if i lose it…i’m not getting paid or anything so it doesn’t matter if i stop…so here we go…lets get this bitch started

SOON

I’m sorry folks…i have been meaning to post and i have a ton of em backlogged on my phone but haven’t had much time to get on here and actually type em out or format em from phone to here …got too busy with work and then tv with all the pilots and etc…but this week i have a 3 day weekend (mon, tues,wed) so you bet your ass there’ll be posts…until then…i leave with some gifts as beggings for forigveness.

actually i lied lol but in the coming days expect posts on, dynansty warriors, dr. horrible’s sing along blog. adventure time, pitch perfect ,the community premiere debacle and the rest of the returning and premiering shows that have got my eye..

POND POWER ( a doctor who review)

so i’m going to do my thoughts on the final 2 eps of the ponds time here on doctor who, the power of three and angels take manhattan..THERE WILL BE SPOILERS (sorry river)

power of three was a nice episode because it’s nice whenever we have an episode 98% spent on earth…and it brought back rory’s dad being just as humorous as before….It showed a nice bit of pond’s life when they’re not adventuring, and the doctor hated the normality and uneventfulness of it…After shit gets real with odd cubes and such, the usual hijinks ensue that leads to the final decision at the end of the ep to decide whether to continue journeying with the doctor or not..they chose yes…

notes :

thank you bbc for rory in his underpants…though would’ve preferred shirtless i’ll take what i can get…love ya arthur darvill!

how the hell did noone in that hospital not notice the unmoving,unaging little black girl for like a year??? WTF ENGLAND?

The angels take manhattan…where do i start..RIVER SONG WAS BACK!! AND SO WERE WEEPING ANGELS…it had the cheesiest and satisfyingly campy moments (such as the statue of liberty being an angel)..it had it’s humor, like when the doctor tries to make himself look nice before going out and meeting river…but for the most part..it was gut punchingly sad…How sad? Take the twist of oswin being a dalek and then the death of the triceratops…mash em together and amplify it by a couple thousand….rory had to watch himself die!!! Then jump off a building in the hopes it’d create a paradox to save them (note: the music in that scene….sooo good)…and then when they think it’s good…bam, a surviving angel shoots him to the past…which takes to the big climax….amy choosing rory over the doctor…it seemed to be a thing ya never really knew for sure if she’d choose adventure over reality..but over these past seasons you’ve really seen the love develop between the ponds and she chose him in one of the most heartbreaking scenes in dr who..amy crying, river crying, doctor crying, i bet the angel even let out a little rocky tear…it was rough…and amy went poof..and the ponds became williams on their gravestone…it ended with a nice though tad cheesy i thought ending monologue voiceover by amy but at the same time..idk how else it could’ve ended the episode …

NOTE:

this episode and the climax scene in general wouldn’t have worked if not for the phenomenal performances by arthur darvill , matt smith, and especially karen gillan…fucking great jobs.

river’s concern over doctor using regeneration energy to heal her…gonna come back, or definitely gonna come back to bite him in the ass?

the ponds are gone..the doctor’s alone..we have 2 months till christmas special and the entrance of jenna louise coleman as the new companion…just enough time to get through companion grief and get excited for a new chapter that desperately needed to happen..

IWISYDHT : OC EDITION

so a week ago i watched 2 films ..i made notes/wrote halfarsed reviews of them..and am posting em here now…this edition of i watched it so you don’t have to is damsels in distress and l!fe happens…both ,interestingly enough, containing OC actors…

~~~~~~~~~DAMSELS IN DISTRESS~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damsels in distress starring indie queen greta gerwig….and one of my fav antm folks ever and actually good actress, analeigh tipton..and has folk like alia shawkwat ,adam brody and aubrey plaza…

very mini stepford wives at first….Wanna punch em in the face..Beginning I wanted greta gerwig to kill herself at the end

…that zorro z and x….fuckin marvelous gag done so deadpan…

.So quirky and odd without being beaten over the head with it..Analeigh has this charming beyond belief reality to her…gives her believability as this sweet girl next door type..would be interestin to see her do something harsher but I love her as this…

Sighh why is adam brody so adorkably fuckable?? And how is it he and rachel bilson barely have aged?

…Lingering shots far past where they should gives it that awkwardness and concerning tension the movie desires to cut the “perfect” persona…

frank looks like fat joseph gordon levitt .dance craze obsession a guy who in college still doesn’t know the colors….. it’s sooo unapologetically weird


~~~~~~~~~~~L!FE HAPPENS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life happens…Starred Krysten Ritter, Kate bosworth and rachel Bilson.nice bit of change for Krysten ritter. Another case of actress writing a more interestin role for herself ala Rashida Jones…gonna go on a limb here and say probably the best film with breast milk squirts during sex scenes of the year…compared to recent pregnancy view (what to expect when you expecting) better comedy,better drama..better movie by far..ending has nice air of random unpredictability that was welcome though overall the ending was a little too cheery urrythang worked out fine for my taste.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ENDING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So that’s that…i’ve noticed most of my films here in IWISYDHT are indie…so i’m considering changing it up…IWISYDHT may change to being mainstream movies that i review/recap and WTFIT aka what the fuck is that…a review/recap/thoughts on indie movies….i’m not quite sure so enjoy some adam brody adorableness as a present for my general lack of posts.